The #1 Way to Secure Your Kids' Financial Future

One night when I was pushing 40 and my kids were young, I lay awake, unable to sleep.

I thought about how life is short. My kids love animals. For pet show-and-tell day at preschool, they took a roly poly from the garden (or as we call them, Armadillidiidae). Aside from that, they had never had a pet.

I worried: Are they really going to grow up without a pet? How do people afford pets?

Armadillidiidae

In the couple of years that followed, these worries helped me realize something. The dreams my husband and I had for our kids wouldn’t happen simply because we wanted them to. They would become possible only if we grew our financial strength and confidence.

This realization shaped the way I've thought about parenting and money ever since.

Parents spend a lot of time thinking about their kids’ futures. Should we start a college fund, pay for travel sports, save for music lessons, move to a better school district, adopt a couple cats (which we eventually did)?

They are all worthwhile questions.

Amidst the many questions, we shouldn’t overlook what comes first.

The most important thing you can do to improve your children's financial future is:

Take care of your own financial health.

Strong family finances create a strong future for your children— not just because of the money itself, but because of the stability, opportunities, and example that financial strength provides.

Your Stability Is Their Stability

When your finances are healthy, you are in the best possible position to support your children throughout their lives.

You can weather unexpected expenses without every setback becoming a crisis.

You can help them through difficult seasons because you have margin instead of constant stress.

You can fund your retirement instead of needing their financial support later in life.

Best of all, they get front row seats to see healthy real-life money management. Your financial stability becomes part of the environment in which they grow up.

What Blocks Us

Parents want to give their children the best opportunities, enrichment, and memories.

Since their children’s well-being is priceless, they go to great lengths to cover the costs, even if it means putting off retirement investing, amassing credit card debt, or depleting their emergency savings.

The motivation is beautiful. The effect isn't good.

Some of the most dedicated parents need to hear this the most:

Hurting your own financial stability doesn’t ultimately help your children.

If today's well-meaning choices become tomorrow's financial hardships, your family will feel the impact. Don’t let generous intentions undermine your family’s security.

There is nothing selfish about building your household’s financial strength. In fact, it’s loving.

The Oxygen Mask Principle

On every flight, airplane passengers hear the familiar safety instructions:

"Put on your own oxygen mask before assisting others."

A parent's instinct is to help their child first. In theory, we put our kids’ needs above our own. But the instructions aren't based on abstract principles. They're based on physical reality.

Make sure your mask is secure before helping others.

If the cabin loses pressure, the lack of oxygen affects your body whether you like it or not. If you spend those critical moments trying to secure your child's mask first, you risk losing consciousness before you can help them.

Trying to be the hero puts everyone at greater risk.

Our finances are similar.

Money isn't the air we breathe, but it is finite and concrete.

The numbers don't care why you overspent on your child's sports season this year. They don't adjust because they see how much you value magical holiday memories. They don’t generate wiggle room because they understand the shame you feel saying “no.”

The numbers in your bank account respond to financial choices you make. You don’t have total control of your circumstances, but your choices do make a meaningful impact.

If you consistently spend more than you earn or save too little today, tomorrow's version of your family may experience financial strain.

Prioritizing your own financial strength doesn’t mean depriving your kids. Quite the opposite, it means laying the foundation to keep investing in them for years to come.

Your Kids Need More Than Your Money

Does giving your kids more mean giving them more money?

On Money for Couples, Ramit Sethi spoke with Mia and Jake, who were investing thousands in their children’s college funds while they only had enough savings to cover two months’ worth of expenses.

If you feel uneasy about prioritizing your financial strength as a parent, try this: assume an adult child’s vantage point. How does an adult child see their parents?

Your kids don't want to see their parents living a joyless life where you model being a financial martyr by sacrificing all your individual desires. I told my parents that I want them to spend every last cent they have. They gave my siblings and me a rich life through their love, values, and a good work ethic. Their money is theirs to enjoy… Seeing my parents enjoying their lives and spending their money makes me so happy!

-Ramit Sethi, Money for Couples (61)

As an adult, you want parents who enjoy life. It’s a gift to have parents who aren’t constantly worried about money. You can prepare that gift for your children by taking your own financial health seriously when they’re little.

Let Your Kids See the Journey

​Take the free Money Strength Assessment to get a quick, clear picture of where you are today. Then let your kids see your journey.

So much of your money life is invisible. Children don't usually see the transactions in your accounts.

Print and post this free Money Strength Assessment Progress Tracker, tell them what it is, and invite them to celebrate as you grow. You can even have them help write down your progress or tape the tracker on the pantry door.

These visual reminders communicate, "This is important to our family,” and they model real-life patience, perseverance, teamwork, and hope.

The healthier your finances become, the more options, stability, and peace you'll be able to offer the ones you love most.